Big Dreams

Last night I was home alone, pacing around in my slippers and thinking about a number of people, places and things. Nouns. I was mostly thinking about Nouns.

Pacing is something I have always done a great deal of. This is something that people don’t normally like. My girlfriend will say, “SIT DOWN YOU MAKE-A-ME-NERVOUS WITH ALL A YOU PACIN’!”

But, pacing is not an activity meant exclusively for Wall Street traders to do while contemplating a pistol. It somehow generates thought in me, forcing my brain and legs into the same rhythm and coaxing out ideas that would not have come to me while stationary.

But last night, while pacing around with nouns on my mind, I noticed two police cars parked outside my house. It seemed like they were on a stake out of some kind, waiting for the Sea Side Strangler to appear from within the bushes of the vacant house next to mine.

A SHORT PLAY ABOUT LAW ENFORCEMENT

Officer 1: Are you ready for our  stake out tonight?

Officer 2: You bet! We’re going to CATCH THE STRANGLER!

Officer 1: Did you get the unmarked cars?

Officer 2: Yes! Two of ‘em! Here they are.

*Points at Official Austin Police Cars with sirens blaring and lights flashing and Television Police Chase Music blasting discordantly from the stereos of each vehicle*

Officer 1: THESE CARS ARE HEAVILY MARKED. ALSO THE SIRENS ARE ON AND THE LIGHTS ARE FLASHING JESUS HERBERT WALKER CHRIST, WHAT GIVES!

Officer 2: I was playing with the sirens and I couldn’t figure out how to turn them off.

END SCENE

So I peered between the blinds in the living room, watching at these dormant cars sit in the dark outside. Every once and a while one police man would get out of his car, saunter a doughy strut over to the other car, exchange whispers, and then saunter back to his own car. How strange, I thought.

This prompted my dream:

The two police officers knocked  a harsh knock on my door, compelling me to open it. I say, “Well hello officers. What seems to be the trouble?”

“SIR, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR IMPERSONATING A GROWN UP. YOU ARE NOT A REAL GROWN UP, AND YET HERE YOU ARE IN A HOUSE THAT YOU RENT. YOU MUST GO LIVE IN JUVENILE HALL STARTING NOW SO THAT A YOUNG PROFESSIONAL IN A BUTTON DOWN SHIRT AND A LONG RESUME OF COMBINED EXPERIENCE AND EDUCATION QUALIFYING HIM FOR A BEVY OF DESIRABLE, HIGH PAYING POSITIONS CAN OCCUPY THIS HOUSEHOLD IN YOUR STEAD.”